Requiem (Petey) (pt.1)
Christmas is here
That time of the year
For happiness and cheer
Families full of smiles and laughter
How could they not
That Christmas magic is in the air
Or at least that’s what they say
But St. Nick must’ve ran out on that day
The phone rang and it rang and it rang and it rang
Until it stopped
And then there was silence
An anxious silence
The kind where you could hear a pin drop
The kind where you can hear your heart screaming in your chest
With each beat of its scared drum
Hoping, praying, and PLEADING that the pin does not drop
But it does
And when it hits the ground it shakes the earth
Momma’s crying now and Daddy is too
My mother wrapped me in her arms
To protect me and to quell her own fear
They say a mother is her son’s first love
And a son is a mother’s last
I held your mother in my arms
Her last love had passed
January 25th 2023
All black everything
Strained smiles on our faces
The family gathered as one in the unhappiest of places
I’m sorry, Lord, no disrespect is meant
But you took him from us so it’s only right that I vent
22 years old with so much left to see
I wish you’d gotten your flowers while you could smell them
I wish I could turn the hands of the clock on this church wall backwards
And go back so I can tell you I love you one last time
But that time will never come
As the hands on the clock spun
Your mother’s cries shook the room
As a symphony of heartstrings wept
And broke in unison as we said goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye Forever
It just doesn’t feel right
How can you be gone just like that
How can I say goodbye when we never did all the things we said we would as kids,
On Escuela Avenue by the old rusty swing set
Jumping off the swings so high you would have thought we’d fly off together into the sunset
Well at least now you’re up there flying high
And while My feet are planted firmly on the ground
I can’t help but feel that Forever feels like such a mighty long time
November (Solace) has come (pt.2)
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared of death
It’s always crept its ugly head around every corner
One day I could be here and then the next POOF gone
And those anxiety attacks I used to have only made it feel closer
This Christmas wasn’t my first dance with death
It looked me right in the eyes
5 years ago when Ceci died
She was young
21
It made death a reality
A death in the family
Shakes everyone to their core
That’s when I first learned about the weight of forever
With death comes grief and
I know grief well
Grief grips your soul at every second of every minute of every hour
24 hours a day
7 days a week
Grief pulls at your heartstrings and plays it at its own tempo
Grief picks your scabs and stubs your toe
Grief beats you black and blue
Grief brings you to your knees
And yet
Grief is a friend
And that I mean in the truest
Because grief also heals
Grief is all the unexpressed love that I feel
It’s how much I miss you
Your lives weren’t perfect and neither were you
But you is all you needed to be
The physical may not remain
But just as death is certain
So is the fact that I’ll see you again in November
En nuestra cultura la muerte no se el fin
Es un comienzo nuevo
Hay un dia
Que es Refugio para las madres afligidas
Y padres sin consuelo
Un día al año
Donde de nuevo podremos estar juntos
Donde nos reiremos y cantaremos hasta que grite el gallo
Donde tu madre y padre sonreirán de nuevo
La pasaremos de fiesta como ustedes hubieran querido
Pero Por lo mientras
Los seres difuntos no mueren si viven en nuestra mente y corazón
Los tendré siempre conmigo
“Singing a secret song for you every night we are apart”
As my tears pour out like libations
I’ll be waiting for you
Till November
